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THE HUMOROUS SIDE OF PARENTING

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“One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong willed but that will not be today, not in this grocery store.”


Unknown

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The following are from BoredPanda.com – authors unlisted:

“Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.”


“Somehow I’ve lucked out and have an 8yo who thinks secretly reading under the covers past her bedtime is an act of rebellion, and it hasn’t yet occurred to her that her flashlights never seem to run out of batteries.”


“My daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me.”


“I don’t know why people say having a dog prepares you for having a kid because my dog has never wanted to watch Frozen 47 days in a row.”


“Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can’t find it. Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.”


“My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.”

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Parenting Quotes:

Parenting Quotes

 Parenthood is a lot easier to get into than out of.
-Bruce Lansky


Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
-Phyllis Diller


A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
-Author Unknown 


 I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
-Rodney Dangerfield


The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children
Duke of Windsor


A person soon learns how little he knows when a child begins to ask questions.
-Richard L. Evans 

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A Few Differences Between Children and Teens

Parenting Humor: The Differences Between Children and Teens

Children enjoy eating donuts in their pajamas...
Teens enjoy doing donuts in parking lots.
Children scream and fuss when it’s time to go to bed...
Teens scream and fuss when it’s time to wake up.
Children enjoy manipulating play dough...
Teens enjoy manipulating adults.

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More Parenting Quotes...

 Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-Michael Levine


The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
-Sam Levenson


I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
-Harry S Truman


Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
-David Frost


The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed.
-Unknown


If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
-Edgar W. Howe


By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.
-Hussein Nishah


If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
-Milton Berle


Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
-Laurence J. Peter


Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.
-Author Unknown


Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it.
-Bob Phillips


It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are.
-Author Unknown 

From the mouths of kids...

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